First let me say that Billy Kametz, voice of Ferdinand von Aegir, was only a couple days older than me and died of stage 4 colon cancer. It was a tragedy. We lost Chadwick Boseman and even more recently Kevin Conroy to cancer too. Thuy Trang died back in 2001 in a car accident because she wasn't wearing a seat belt. Irresponsible, yes, but still tragic. Earlier this week, we lost Jason David Frank to suicide, and I'm angry. He was not the first celebrity to do so, and he won't be the last. Like everyone else, I couldn't believe it at first, but then it was confirmed from multiple sources within twenty-four hours. But I didn't burst out bawling like when I was 14. I was livid. “What are you doing, you stupid asshole?!" was the first thought that came to mind. “Was nothing in your life good enough for you anymore? Was there nothing here worth sticking around for?"
The truth is, like many others, he was fighting a mental battle that no one else could fight for him. He'd already lost his mom and brother, and he just wasn't feeling the next Power Rangers anniversary that many of his co-stars are participating in, some for the first time since splitting from the show back in the 90s due to various reasons (pay, discrimination, etc.). Fame can be hollow, but he was perhaps the most famous of all the Rangers, and he seemed to like what he did. He wasn’t a perfect man, and he didn’t get along with everyone. I certainly thought he was overrated at one time or another. He leaves behind a wife and child in real life (though as of editing this I’ve learned there was a divorce pending and he hanged himself in a hotel after an argument), and Kat and J.J. in the Ranger-verse. They already had to deal with the fact that Trini can’t be in the anniversary and cast someone to play her daughter. Now they have this to deal with as well. Which is not more important than a man’s life, but killing yourself right before Thanksgiving and after passing on a big work event is kind of a dick move.
What all of my anger really stems from is this: I used Power Rangers as an escape from these issues, and having them flung back in my face feels like a betrayal. When I was 8 years old, my mom attempted suicide and then spent some time in rehab. The Power Rangers were my role models. Their strength of character made me want to do better, to be better, than my mom. I couldn’t trust the adults in my life to be okay, but I shouldn’t really count on these people who are just actors to be okay either. JDF left behind his wife and child to be with his mom and brother, just like my mom was going to leave me and my little brother and our dad to be with her father, and that shit hurts.
So...yeah. My Kingdom Hearts OC Sayuri is me if my mom had succeeded. Also, here's your Thanksgiving reminder to cut ties with your toxic family members if at all possible. As I mentioned in my previous post, I don't want my daughter to have to deal with or even know about all the crap my mom and her siblings have put me and each other through. They can go to their graves hating each other, and one of them already has. I'm done with them and I'm done with my hometown.
Farewell, “Tommy." I hope things are better for you on the other side.
