Real Real Talk

I've been on birth control for two years now. My doctor didn't tell me about any of the side effects; I found them out later. At first I was pleased with the fact that my migraines seemed to go away, but after a year or so they came back with a vengeance and have been getting worse ever since. I brought this up to the attending physician, but she thought it was an excuse to get pain killers, which she couldn't prescribe anyway. She just told me to take more over the counter stuff, but they don't work on me and I'm already taking the maximum recommended amount.
We moved shortly after I started taking the pill, so I thought my initial weight gain was due to the shorter walk to a bus stop and a few pounds from the holidays, but this wasn't so. After finally consulting the internet, it turns out that the pill was responsible for adding fifteen pounds - per year. I talked to the attending physician about this too, but she said it's still my own fault for not controlling myself. She recommended cutting out carbs like white bread and pasta (which I can scale back but not give up entirely). The hormones increase your appetite, apparently, but I think there are other mitigating factors at work here. The other side effects are increased greasiness and mood swings, but I haven't noticed any drastic changes there.
My husband eats twice as much as I do, and I have been trying to keep up. I had to force myself to finish a whole sandwich from Nardelli's or the whole plate at the Omelet Factory. Big Macs and Whoppers are not for me if only for size alone. While I still don't eat as much as him, I do eat more than I used to before I met him. We both gained weight over the holidays this past year. That aside, however, I don't think I've lost control over myself or let myself go. No, I'm just enjoying food more than I used to.
I'd been underweight during adolescence due to divorce impoverishing my family and my own sense of guilt over being a costly child. I'd since maintained a healthier weight, but the birth control has brought me from one side of the healthy spectrum to the other, and I don't want to be anything beyond that. Unfortunately, the birth control induced weight gain will not level off, so I'm going to stop taking it and restrict myself to levels I used to eat previously, again due to guilt. I'm not happy with this premise, and I would rather they just give me a version of birth control that doesn't do this, but I won't hold my breath. Miserable at this prospect, I coincidentally caught a bad cold that's been going around and have pretty much lost my appetite completely. Sticking to soft foods and hot liquids (and plenty of lozenges), I've only eaten one or two things a day and napped for most of it. I don't expect to lose much weight this way, but it's a start.
It's not that I'm afraid to be labeled as fat. If I'm going to be fat, I'm going to do it without the help of pharmaceuticals. I'm more concerned with how I feel rather than how I look. I get hot at night when I put my thighs together. It's the same as having long hair; after a while, it becomes unmanageable. On top of that, I feel like it's too soon to be morphing into my mother's body, especially since I haven't had any kids yet. At least they wouldn't be responsible for ruining my body - the pill already did that.
After I get rid of my cold, it will be hard to eat less again. Other people get to eat more than me and seem to enjoy it, and I started to enjoy it too. What's fun about less food? I already eat quickly because of how much time we were given in school (not a lot if you wanted to be able to socialize, especially with the long cafeteria lines). It's over too soon, and I like the taste of my favorite meals. It's especially trying with shared meals like pizza where it's every man for himself, even with leftovers. Exercise hasn't helped, so it's not as easy as joining a gym. My job keeps me pretty active, and during one vacation I took a six mile hike that seemed to have no impact other than making me tired.
So wish me luck. I don't have anyone I feel I can comfortably burden or confide in, so I'm left with screaming into the abyss.

Change Your Mind

Tried to watch DC Super Hero Girls Nevermore part 1, but I was immediately turned off. 1) Raven didn't learn magic from her father, and 2) Raven doesn't hate magic (but she does hate her father). How could you get it so wrong?! There were things I could let slide like the term "Underworldians" or her red-tipped hair, but not that. Also, it was too much like Equestria Girls, which is becoming too extra nowadays with all the shorts they keep churning out that I can't keep up with.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Adam has blue eyes; the Beast/Prince Adam has piercing blue eyes. Also coming as a surprise to no one, old lady fight club has ruined everything, as Grimm are descending upon the city (including a Godzilla). Maria I could take or leave again, as she's temporarily blinded when Cordovin hits the ship with electricity and says "don't tell me I missed it!" after Ruby disables one of the robot arms with its own dust canisters. However, she was willing to make a break for it with everyone on board minus Blake and Yang (until the Grimm showed up). Another thing I like is Qrow using his bird form in battle. Say what you want about Ozpin, but that's handy.

Battle of Heart and Mind was equal parts epic and disappointing. It needed to be longer, since the ending seemed rushed. Maybe we'll get more later in the movie or another season, but the montage should've been a full scene with dialogue. White Diamond became too rubbery at times, and her ship has creepy doll eyes. The moral at the end, in a little song, was something like "I'll be who I am, and you're free to change your mind." White Diamond needed to stop obsessing over perfection and trying to change everyone around her, since she's not perfect either. She needs to let herself not be perfect. This is relevant to my life, but the aunt in question is turning into a Beatrice Horseman situation more than White Diamond (dementia, or at the very least confusion), so that message isn't going to reach her or do her any good. I don't even know if I can convince any of my aunts how much they've hurt my mom, or my mom how much she's hurt me. I'll just be me, and they can leave me be. I don't have to change for them. I don't want a relationship with them if they refuse to see me as a person, just my mom's disappointing kid.

Spoiler Talk: RWBY and MikeJ

Cordovin didn't know Weiss had run away; she was only referring to choosing Beacon over continuing her education in Atlas. After everything that happened, why would she believe Weiss had still been in Vale up to this point? She wouldn't have known Jacques flew her back immediately after the fall of Beacon? No questions have been raised about the plane that Weiss had sneaked onto and was taken down? Argus must really be the boonies of Atlas if she's informed about some things but not others. Then when Team RWBY and company launch their very risky plan to get past her (thanks, Adam), she accuses Maria over the radio of getting children to help her cross illegally into Atlas. Again, Maria is the one with the medical need to get to Atlas. Cashews or not, she is in need of treatment. If Weiss had to make the sacrifice to go to Atlas alone and stowed Maria in her suitcase for that reason, that would've been sweet. Instead, we get two or more episodes of two old ladies yelling and firing missiles at each other because Adam won't let go of his obsession with Blake. He was probably the one causing problems at the comm tower in the first place, which would've been a neat side quest after they were initially turned away. But no, instead we get this. Little Miss Malachite was an interesting character, but she's neutral at best. Cordovin is the real antagonist at the current moment despite technically doing her job. She just went batshit insane while doing it because of her beef with Maria. I felt bad for Weiss when Maria she insisted she knew what she was doing despite clear evidence to the contrary; she could still fly and use jargon, but she couldn't disguise the age in her voice, leading her to ask why they'd trusted her with the task in the first place. Crunching the cashews and saying "that's the sound of me not caring" was funny but equally insane.

I've now read both Mike Jeavons' novels, but I don't think I'm the target audience for them. They had a good joke here and there, but I found the narrative to be too repetitive with nothing much changing until it was time to cut to the chase. The characters weren't that developed, particularly Rachel and Amie as they are sister characters and not as important as the main few boys. I imagine Mike as the protagonist Simon. The school scenes were painful to get through as the teacher and headmaster seemed to have hate boners for the main characters (with the two female characters being unaffected due to age and possibly gender). They were probably meant to be unreasonable as most adults and educational figures are, but it was too heavy-handed even with the later [weak] explanation. I've never attended a British school, but still. The first one felt like a school writing project, but the second one was better in that regard as well as some character development. However, Rachel ended up getting fridged, so that's no good. I also don't understand why Simon's parents got a puppy instead of a more mature dog that could've fought back against the creatures rather than bark to no avail, as the adults still don't believe the pup or the boys and make the latter out to be criminals. As it was unclear how many of the named creatures died in the first novel, I had no idea whom to expect to return since there was an unnamed survivor. The creatures' plan was stupid too, or at least not very well thought out. Their leader reminded me of Tim Curry's Pennywise if he was an alien instead of a clown. Not bad, but not good enough for me, I'm afraid. Sorry.

I realize I misspelled Pyrrha and Heyner's names. It's hard to remember where the h goes in the former and which word begins the latter. Again, sorry.

Questions and Concerns

Elrena was on a team with Strelitzia, so that's why Lauriam went to her. They are siblings, but not that close, apparently. That brings up a point I've been wondering about. No one in Chi (X) seems to have parental supervision or mention parents at all. In the first game, we hear Sora's mom. In Birth By Sleep, Sora mentions his friend's dad (Riku's dad), Kairi has her grandmother, and Even specifically tells us that Ienzo is adopted. So what's everyone else's deal? Why go to the trouble of telling us that some people have family members while most seem to be free agents? None of the characters original to this series even have last names. Anyway, no one seems to know that Strelitzia was killed or even that she was supposed to be a Union leader, so Elrena decides to investigate despite her Chirithy saying it's not like her to care. We all thought it was Lauriam since he showed up last, but if he was late because he was looking for his sister and not killing her, then that means the other four leaders are now suspects. Would the Vanitas side of Ven have done it? What about the others? What does any of this have to do with Kingdom Hearts 3?

HMK brings up a point that I overlooked because I didn't want to believe Even was well and truly Norted. Obviously, as HMK says, Vexen could clone Xion and/or Replica Riku again for the new Organization. As Ienzo is working towards bringing Roxas back through data, I was at least curious about how Even would react when he comes to and sees what the boy was up to without him (and possibly that Ansem has returned). I'm also concerned that Riku might die since that has also been brought up. Maybe he hangs out with Replica Riku in the afterlife? I really don't want anyone to die (though the video I'm going to work on will most likely have an obits section), and I don't think Disney and Square would kill off all the heroes in order to leave Sora completely alone. Luxord was able to separate them with cards, and it looks like he will do so again. We also see Kairi get carried off by a Heartless swarm, but I don't think she'll die either. The seven lights don't even have to be killed, but I'm guessing some hearts may be stolen.

I watch Monster Factory, and in the newest episode, the McElroys fought their creation against other created fighters, one of whom was called Buff Riku. I know buffing up characters is a meme (like Buffsuki of Doki Doki Literature Club fame), but it also looks like Riku decided to become Lexaeus after getting knocked out by him.

Persona 5 Dark Sun isn't a single OVA but an OVA series. Episode one of Dark Sun was two episodes in length and ended with Shido's confession going wrong. The next one's not coming out until March. I really wish this was planned out better.

It makes me mad that no one knew Phyrra was from Argus until this episode. No awkward looks like they were avoiding talking about it; team JNR found her statue and had a moment. Jaune even got to talk to her mom (also voiced by Jen Brown), whether he knew it or not. One of my friends stopped watching because Phyrra was fridged, and I can't recommend he start again now because of this episode. I'll keep watching, but screw this. She deserved better. I had accepted that she was meant to die, but this episode made it feel even shittier.

I've Been Busy (and Sick)

It seems like ever since I said that I liked the way Survivor was playing out, it has become a constant source of disappointment. I'm glad Nick won out of the three of them, though. I knew it wasn't going to be John or Christian, but Davie was my favorite to win.

In the latest episode of RWBY, Maria said she was on the extra screening list for bringing in outside cashews, but she was not allowed through to Atlas either. If she was on the train to get her eyes tuned up, which she needs regularly, she shouldn't be denied passage. I also don't believe Weiss could've finished the journey on her own. Caroline seems to know that Weiss ran away, so she'd only go back to being her father's prisoner if she was allowed through. He'd never allow her to bring the relic anywhere, and it certainly wouldn't be safe with him. Her only hope would be if Ironwood or Winter came to visit.

Critical Role's "The Night Before Critmas" was the best one-shot I've seen in a while. Like Laura's one-shot, they had to skirt around the copyrighted material by changing some names and being vague about other details. Travis' heel-turn was handled expertly. I liked how he thought he might get away with it until he realized what Matt meant. It's too bad Laura wasn't there to give a reaction, but Julie's was probably close.

It's the time of the year to be nice to people and things we don't like. There is no better way to do that than to say two compliments and one critique. Here's what I have to say about Teen Titans Go! at the moment:
Compliment: Another Darkseid (Weird Al) episode just aired, which is fantastic.
Critique: Robin needs to stop beating up Beast Boy.
Compliment: Raven's outfits are super cute.
I should probably look into DC Super Hero Girls at some point, but I also probably won't.

I'm glad Yandere Dev is still going. The Jingle Bells video is my second favorite Christmas parody he's done after It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Murder. As for Random Encounters, it took me a while to get A Mei is in Danger = Away in a Manger. It's not one of the songs I usually hear. This year I have to figure out which songs I've already used in holiday videos so I can choose new ones. I might also have to work on some top 10 lists as well.