Tamaki's Donut Story

(Based on Vic's donut story)

Tamaki goes in search of a vending machine to get some "commoners' donuts" he's heard about. When he gets there, he sees Nekozawa kicking the machine and cursing at it because it ate his money. Not close enough to hear what the problem is, Tamaki is a little frightened. Nonetheless, he goes up to Nekozawa and asks if he can get some donuts.

"I'm afraid you won't be getting any donuts from this machine," Nekozawa hisses angrily. Before he can explain to Tamaki, Tamaki freaks out and runs away, having thought Nekozawa had put another curse on him.

Tamaki pulls out his cell phone and frantically tries to call the other hosts, but there's a problem - Tamaki forgot to charge his cell phone, so it isn't working. Tamaki, still in a state of panic, doesn't know why this is and darts into a nearby storage closet because he hears someone following him. Inside the closet are some open cans of red paint. Mistaking them for canisters of blood, Tamaki yelps and bolts out of the closet, almost taking out Nekozawa and Kyoya, who had come looking for him.

"What has gotten into him?" Kyoya grumbles as Nekozawa helps him up.

Then Mori, Honey, Hikaru, and Kaoru arrive, looking for Kyoya and Tamaki."You still haven't found him yet?" Hikaru asks.

"What's going on, you guys?" Haruhi asks, returning from the store with donuts and other snacks for the club.

"It seems Tamaki couldn't wait until you got back from the store, so he went in search of a vending machine," Kyoya explains. "Then he ran into Nekozawa-senpai and now he's running around like a chicken with its head cut off."

"We've tried calling him, but I think his phone is dead," Kaoru adds.

"So what did you do to spook him this time?" Haruhi asks Nekozawa.

"The vending machine took my money without giving me anything, and he caught me taking out my frustrations on it," Nekozawa says.

"This wouldn't have happened if Tama-chan was a little more patient," Honey points out.

Haruhi sighs. "Well we can't start without him so we'd better go find him."

Meanwhile, Tamaki has calmed down a bit and has found another vending machine. He puts his money into itand punches in the combination for the donuts. The machine dispenses the donuts slower than hell. Tamaki stares at the donuts, willing the machine to go faster. "Almost...almost..." And then the machine gets stuck. "COME ON!!" Tamaki screams, banging on the plexiglass. The donuts drop and he gleefully bends down to pick them up.

However, Tamaki hasn't realized that he is near the field where the archery club is holding practice and just avoids being hit by a stray flaming arrow. Startled, he backs into a freshly painted red wall. Taking leave of his senses once again, he runs in terror all the way back to the club room, closely followed by the search party after they spot him.

When he arrives in the club room, Tamaki finds that Shiro is the only one there. "Shiro! Don't go out there!" he screams, startling the boy. "I just had the most terrifying experience!"

"What are you talking about?" Shiro asks, annoyed.

"Ooooh! I want to hear the story!" Renge exclaims, popping up from under the floor.

Just then the rest of the group enters the room. "What is wrong with you, Tamaki-senpai?" Haruhi gasps, out of breath.

"There you guys are! I've been trying to reach you!" Tamaki greets them.

"Uh, yeah, we know," Hikaru says.

"Just get on with the story!" Renge urges, and Tamaki is all too happy to oblige before the others can stop him and explain.

"It started when Haruhi was taking a long time at the store," Tamaki begins.

"Hey, it was unusually crowded today," Haruhi protests.

"So I decided I would go to a vending machine and get some commoners' donuts myself. When I got there, I was met with a dark figure with a long coat and anime hair."

"Yes, that was me," Nekozawa points out.

"And I said, 'Excuse me, I would like to purchase some donuts.' And he said 'You're not getting any donuts.' I don't know why he was so angry with me but I decided to get out of there before he cursed me next."

"I was angry because the machine wasn't working," Nekozawa explains. "I wasn't going to put a curse on you."

"So I ran, trying to reach one of you on my cell phone so somebody could help me. But I couldn't because my phone wasn't working!"

"You probably forgot to charge it," Kaoru suggests.

"And then I ducked into a closet to hide, but inside there was blood!"

"No way!" Renge exclaims, enthralled.

"I don't know whose blood it was, but there was plenty of it.So I ran back out the door to the outside, but I felt like I was being followed."

"We were looking for you," Kyoya clarifies, at his wit's end.

"So I kept running and then I found another vending machine. I put money into the machine but it was taking forever to dispense the donuts to me. I banged on it to try and speed up the process. Just when I reached down to pick up the donuts, the machine burst into flames! And then I found more blood!"

"You mean the paint that's all over you?" Haruhi asks.

"...What?" Tamaki asks, returning to reality.

"Tamaki, our guests will be here any moment," Kyoya states. "I suggest you get cleaned up before they arrive."