Thursday, September 18, 2014

My Top 8 Favorite Hetalia Characters

This was a tough list to make in some ways. I was going to go for a top-10 standard, but after 8 or 9 I just stopped caring. Still, I think my reasoning was pretty solid. You're probably not going to agree with me, but then you can just go and make your own list.

8. Spain. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! But other than that, if anyone's a hero around here, it's Spain. He has to put up with raising Chibi Romano (even though he was giddily happy about it at first and not in a sadistic way, unlike France) and constantly saving him and getting into wars with other countries in the process. In that way, he is very cool and responsible even if the queen yells at him a lot. Churro, anyone?

7. Italy. The main/title character,voiced by Todd Haberkorn, is described by him as a "nancy-boy," and his over-the-top performance as such (combined by the dub adaptation written by Jamie Marchi and Chuck Huber) is what makes the show so funny. He alone can save us from the Nobura invasion in the Paint It White movie, and other than waving the white flag and running away from a fightor calling Germany for help, he pretty much takes everything thrown at him in stride. Todd draws his inspiration from the SuperMario games.

6. Germany. The straight man to Italy's silliness, he is often the only sane man in the room willing to take any sort of action. As it turns out, there is some German in my ancestry, so the German curse word he utters increasingly frequently has found its way into my vocabulary since watching this show. He would like to make it clear that he doesn't like Hitler (who is referred to as Herr Moustache) any more than the rest of the world does. Threatening to gas Italy for annoying him while he's trying to read is totally okay, however.

5. Sweden. Based on my last name, I am of Swedish descent. This may explain this character/country's placement on this list. Others, especially Finland (the unwilling object of Sweden's affection), think he is quite creepy. He probably is, but there is a heart buried under there that is misunderstood as scary. He would like to make it clear that the nasty Vikings were all from Denmark and Norway and not him and Finland. I'd go to his cafe anytime. He reminds me of Grandpa (not Italy's, mine).

4. Hungary. She is a superstar. Do not mess with her Austria if you want to live, though. She may live in his house, but she wears the pants in this relationship and will fight for him to the death - and probably win. Still, she hesitates to whack France with her skillet just because God told her to do it and he deserves it for being such a perv. She may or may not also be responsible for perpetuating the perception that Chibitalia is female because she kept putting her dresses on him.

3. Tie between China and Japan. This is not me being racist and not knowing the difference. I've weighed them both in my mind and they turned out to be about equal after all things were considered. What I like about Japan is that he's quiet and reserved but may or may not be scheming things behind everyone's backs, be they Allies or Axis. Actually, I don't like the scheming part so much, but it is funny; however, it's even more funny when others do it to him - especially when they feel bad afterward. Chris draws his inspiration from the Cooking Mama games. What I like about China is the way he (or is it she?) pronounces swear words in English. He also likes cat plushies even though his dragon master overlord is mean to him about it. He is Japan's older brother, but since this is a Japanese show it's got a lot of bias against China. Clarine draws her inspiration from her mom, but apparently fans didn't like that (and yet they can somehow joke about France's rape laugh, much to the voice actors' collective disbelief and disgust.

2. Canada. I'm American, but I like Canada better because America is a jerk (they're both voiced by Eric Vale, though). I feel bad for him because he's invisible and ghostlike at meetings. I just wanna give him a hug and have a game of catch with him and not throw the ball at him so hard. Maple hockey!

1. Britain. Given what the rest of my heritage is, this was probably a foregone conclusion. I cannot escape the fact that a significant part of my roots are tied to the American Revolution, so even though it was promoted to death, the Storage Cleaning segments are close to my heart. But America's still a jerk, and an idiot. Britain's not perfect himself, either, but he is in need of several hugs whether or not he'd actually accept them. On the flipside of things, I'm also in the process of writing a fan fic wherein all his former colonies invade his sovereign territory ala Kickassia (once Britain convinces America that he's not the only one with pesky micronations and America has Tony look up TGWTG). Also, my eighth grade history teacher never made the conflicts between Britain and France to be the result of sexual tension but instead compared them to Itchy and Scratchy from The Simpsons. Speaking of, that's kind of likehow Britain and America interact sometimes - like Homer strangling Bart.

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